First Christmas Read online

  “You'd be happy here if you let yourself be.”

  He’d pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers, trying to sway her. She felt him warm and hard against her curves and wanted more than anything for him to be right. Staying would be the safe thing to do. The easiest. Take some online courses, get married, have kids like he wanted. They’d been together since grade school. But that was the problem. She pulled away from his embrace.

  “I'm sorry, Dylan. We want different things.” Her eyes implored him to understand. “You know it's true. You'll always be my best friend, but I have to be free to go out into the world and find my place.”

  Dylan's eyes blazed down into hers. “You have a place. Right here. Can't you be happy being with me?” He reached for her, trying to pull her back against him. “Erin, we had plans.”

  Erin laid her hand on his arm and shook her head sadly. “No, Dylan. You had plans. I'm not the one you're going to marry.”

  His eyes narrowed and hardened. Dylan ripped his arm away from her touch. His voice was fraught with bitterness. “Fine, then. Go. Have your freedom. I hope you realize what you're leaving behind.”

  She did. Every day. It was still murder not to pick up the phone just out of habit to see what he was doing or how his day had been. It’d been six months, and she still missed him. She thought about her parents and her friends from school, too, but missing Dylan was different. It was like missing your favorite brother who helped heal your scrapes and bruises, who listened to your dumbest secrets. A hole in your heart that you just couldn't fix. It infuriated her. She’d come here to find her place, not to have her head buried in the past.

  “Hey, guys. Sorry we're late. The line to check in to our room was a beast.” Holly fell onto the stool next to Erin. Her dark hair was pulled into a long ponytail, and the severe fashion statement really brought out her eyes. She wore a tight black turtleneck with a pair of painted-on jeans and leg-hugging boots that Erin bet cost more than she made in a month.

  Cara sauntered up, hips rolling as her strappy sandals flashed bling in the half-light of the room. Her glittery holiday dress, a glorious black number with sequins, draped across her curvaceous form as if it had been made just for her.

  “Ugh. It was awful. You'd think we’d be gone a month with the amount of luggage this woman in front of us checked in. Damn. It's just a weekend cruise.”

  Holly laughed and pushed at Jace. “Give a lady a seat, why don't you?”

  Nolan threw back his head, a deep laugh reverberating through his chest. “You girls. Come on, babe, we need to work off some of that cake we had after dinner.” He waggled his eyes at Jace and offered his hand.

  Jace grinned and relinquished the stool to Cara. “Pushy, pushy. You girls have at it.” His gaze raked over Holly and Cara, and he pointed his finger at Erin. “Make sure she goes out dancing and has a good time.”

  “Oh, she will.” Holly winked at Erin, and she had a sudden urge to run.

  ***

  It only took about twenty minutes for Cara and Holly to find drool-worthy dates, and finally Erin was back on her own. She sighed with relief, ducking out of the noisy dance party. She made her way down to the main deck of the cruise ship. She’d never been on a cruise before and was determined to explore. The girls had handed her a flier of all the ship’s amenities, and she wanted to check out the shops. She needed a dress—badly. The party was tomorrow night and now that she knew it was formal, she had to see what kind of bargains or rentals were to be had. There was also an advertisement for a photography studio that intrigued her.

  It was still strange to find herself here without her family, but she was enjoying herself. The club scene was a bit much, but she loved exploring new things, and so here she was. The holiday theme was elegantly done throughout the ship, but as she turned a corner, she came upon a display leading into the ballroom that took her breath away.

  “Would you look at that.” The entryway was draped in evergreens and fairy lights, and Erin saw a hint of something twinkling in the half-light within. Curious, she poked her head inside. What she saw made her speechless.

  Someone had created a winter wonderland. Evergreen trees lit up with white Christmas lights graced every corner. Fluffy piles of “snow” lined the walls, and in the far corner of the room, one very large tree presided over the rest. Crystal ornaments and silver slivers of tinsel glittered as the light bounced off every surface. Mermaids frolicked amid the snow-flocked branches. Hundreds of shells and other sea life dangled between delicate blown-glass bulbs that gave the tree an ethereal under-the-ocean glow.

  “God, it's gorgeous.”

  Erin stepped into the room and marveled at the skill of whoever had set up the scene. It was spectacular. Movement on the far side of the room made her pause. She glimpsed a blonde woman with skin-tight jeans and a tight black tee hanging garland. She stepped off the ladder and retreated into the shadows.

  I want to meet her.

  The thought came unbidden, and it made her smile. She checked her watch and sighed. She didn't have much time before the shops closed, and she did want to check out that photography studio.

  “Thank you.” A voice came out of the shadows at the far side of the room.

  Erin started. “Oh!” She began to spin around to see who’d joined her, but as she did, she experienced a sudden draft of air. The front of the dress slipped open as the tie unfastened. In horrifyingly slow motion, it fell apart, revealing the black satin bra and matching thong panties she’d worn for the occasion.

  A dark chuckle of female laughter met her ears as the mysterious person in the shadows made her way toward the glow of the tree. “Need some help with the dress there, tourist girl?”

  Erin yanked the tie closed, furious. She turned to make a nasty retort when the owner of the voice came into view. Every thought trickled out of her mind as she stared at the vision of loveliness in front of her. Long blonde hair framed a heart-shaped face. The other woman’s lips were curved upwards in a mischievous smile. Blue eyes bordering on purple flashed with merriment. Or possibly it was just the light. The tight pink shirt with “Fight Like a Girl” blazed across the front made her smile.

  As her eyes adjusted and she took in the high breasts and shapely form in front of her, Erin's mouth went dry, and her insides were infused with heat. A girl? I'm getting hot over a girl?

  She'd never reacted this way to another person before. Ever. Not even Dylan. As far as she knew, she was as straight as straight could be. Yet here she was, staring at the woman in front of her as if she were the missing éclair from her last meal.

  “Cat got your tongue?” The blonde seductress strolled past her and bent over, picking up a roll of white batting from the floor. Her jeans hugged her form like a second skin. The woman was close enough that the warm citrus scent of her rolled over Erin, and she sighed.

  “Errr. Um. Hi. I'm Erin.”

  “I'm Ariel. Glad you like the trees.”

  Erin smiled shyly. “Hi.” She wiped her palms on the dress and grimaced as the fastenings fell open once again. “Damn it!” She blushed profusely, stubbornly tugging the obstinate dress closed.

  “Well, hi yourself.” Ariel said, grinning wickedly. “I really like that dress.”

  “Thanks.” Erin blushed, smoothing the dress down. “One of the guys in my group designed it.”

  “I think he may need to work on that clasp.” Ariel smirked and dragged the batting toward a row of rustic-looking trees. “Not that I'm complaining, of course.”

  Erin laughed. “Yes. I'm planning on sharing that little tidbit with him as soon as I find them.”

  Erin really did need to report on the dress issue to Jace, and to go shopping for her dress for the party, but this girl was really intriguing. She wanted to know more about what Ariel was doing in the ballroom, too. And that name. She always did have a thing about mermaids.

  Although this girl looked nothing like a Disney princess.

  Erin glanced
around at the wintery bliss and sighed. It reminded her of home—all the glittering snow formed around the trees and the delicate lights. And this girl. Something about her made the tension that had been bunching up since she'd stepped foot on the ship leave her.

  “So you're here for the weekend cruise? Nice.” Ariel's lips turned up in a smile.

  Erin nodded. “They thought I should get out and do something.”

  “They?”

  “My roommates. I swear they're worse than my mother.”

  “I hear you.” Ariel grimaced. “Mine's been on my case since I broke up with my last girlfriend.”

  Girlfriend?

  “Why?”

  “She says I'm being cranky. As if.” Ariel snorted and dropped down to her knees to smush the snowy batting into place. She turned her face toward Erin.

  “Does this look like snow?”

  Erin cocked her head. “Yes. I mean, almost. You missed a spot.”

  And you look so cute with your backside in the air.

  Oh, my god. Did I just think that?

  “Where?”

  “Here. Let me show you.” Erin knelt down and pushed the batting against the bases of the last two trees, conscious of the other woman’s close proximity. “Now you have it.”

  “Thanks.” Ariel met Erin's eyes, and Erin abruptly turned away.

  “Ummm. Sure.” Butterflies erupted in Erin's stomach and she got to her feet, carefully keeping the fastening on the dress contained.” So how long were you dating?”

  “What?” Ariel got up and brushed off her jeans. “Oh. You mean Stef. We dated for about two years.”

  “Why did you break up?”

  “Curious much?”

  Erin blushed and nibbled her lip. “Sorry. I was just wondering. I broke up with my boyfriend right before school started this semester, and this is my first Christmas away from home.”

  “It's hard.” Ariel gazed out at the ballroom and sighed. “The first year I took this job, my parents had a fit. They wanted me home for the holidays, no ifs, ands, or buts.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I took the job.”

  “Oh, my god.” Erin giggled. “You're fearless.”

  “No.” Ariel shook her head. “It was either that or tell my parents I'm a lesbian, and that was just not a conversation I was willing to have.”

  “Do they know now?”

  “Nope.”

  “Have you been home?” Erin sat down on a spare chair next to Ariel's decorator supplies.

  “Not yet. It's still too much to go into with them.” Ariel moved to a box of ornaments and opened it up.

  “Do you want some help?”

  “What kind of help did you have in mind?”

  Erin raised her eyebrows. “The tree.”

  “Oh...sure. Do you want to get changed? I wouldn't want the designer dress to get mussed or explode open when you least expect it.”

  “Ha ha.”

  Ariel took an ornament out of the box and looked it over, then lifted her eyes to meet Erin's. “I would love the help, to be honest. I still have one other room to decorate before tomorrow morning's breakfast party.”

  “Let me go back to my room and get changed and I'll meet you back here.”

  “I have a better idea. Why don't we go up to your room and then swing back around to grab a bite to eat on the way?”

  “Perfect.”

  Ariel set her ornament back in the box and rose to meet her.

  “Come on. There's a twenty-four-hour pizza and ice cream bar you'll just love.”

  “Pizza?” Erin's mouth watered, and she realized she'd completely missed dinner. Her stomach let out a gurgle, and she coughed to try to cover it up.

  “And about twenty-five flavors of ice cream. It's a wonder I don't gain fifty pounds.”

  Erin laughed. “You? You move around too much, from what I've seen.”

  “Come on.” A grin spread across Ariel’s face. “ Let's get you changed and fed. If you're going to keep up with me, you'll need it.”

  “I'm so ready to get out of this dress. It's going to get me arrested.”

  “Hang on a minute. Let me run to the staff room and grab my phone from the back. I'll just be a second.” Ariel darted off, and the peacefulness of the winter scape settled over Erin.

  Her phone. She hadn't checked it in a while. Automatically, her thoughts strayed to Dylan, and she wondered how he was doing. Severing her relationship with him had been hard, but necessary. She needed to get away and find herself before she was ever going to be able to fall in love. Just the few months she'd been at school had awakened her to a whole new life, and it was one she loved. The ability to pursue her degree and meet new people made her happy, even if she did get homesick from time to time.

  Erin nibbled on her lip and swiped her finger across the screen. She’d promised Cara she wouldn’t obsess, but she couldn’t help it. Dylan had been part of her everyday world forever, and she was supposed to just pretend he wasn’t a part of her life?

  If he was so important, why did you dump him and run off to school at the first opportunity?

  Because I didn't want the perfect white-picket-fence life. Not yet.

  “Stop it.” She sat down on one of the chairs. Staring down at her phone, she swished and guided the touchscreen to her social media bookmarks. Quickly, she tapped on Dylan’s page. Erin’s eyes narrowed in on his relationship status, and her hands began to shake. She barely registered Ariel coming back into the room as the words flashed across the screen.

  Engagement Party.

  She didn’t notice the tears until one splattered on the screen of her phone. There, in bold living color, were pictures of his engagement party to her high school friend Amber. He looked so happy. So did she, the traitorous wench.

  “Oh, my god.” Her heart was ripping in two right there in the middle of the ballroom.

  “Are you okay?”

  Ariel rested a hand on Erin's shoulder, and she jumped.

  “How could he? It's only been a few months.” Erin knew her voice was shaking, but she couldn't help it. “My oldest friend.” She angrily wiped at her eyes and sniffled. “I've known her since I was five, for Christ's sake.”

  “I'm sorry.”

  She turned her face to Ariel. “Me, too.” Erin paused and thought about it. “I wonder if he ever loved me.”

  “I know it hurts, hon, but you need to ask yourself if you ever really loved him.” Ariel's eyes bored into hers.

  Erin considered for a moment and thought back to the conversation she’d had with Dylan when they’d broken up.

  “I did. Once. But that was when we were kids. Then something changed.”

  “What?” Ariel motioned for Erin to follow, and they walked out into the hall.

  “I wanted more, and the spark...well...it wasn't there.”

  “Ah. So have you found it?”

  “What?” Erin cocked her head.

  “The spark.”

  A funny wave of energy ran underneath Erin's skin as she considered Ariel's words. She stared at the girl in front of her, and a ripple of excitement swirled in her stomach.

  “I honestly don't know.”

  “Well, come on. We need to get your face washed. At the rate you're going, if you meet said spark, they'll probably jump overboard just looking at that smeared mascara. You look like one of the undead.”

  “Oh!” Erin sniffled and began to giggle. How was it this girl could make all the clouds in her life dissipate?

  “What room are you in?”

  “Four twelve.”

  “Okay. Come on. Let's go.”

  Erin followed behind Ariel and couldn't help but notice once more the way the jeans hugged her form. The sway of her hips nearly hypnotized her, and she almost ran into her as they made it to the end of the hallway and stopped in front of the elevator. Warmth curled through her body at the thought of running her hands along her heart-shaped ass.

  Freaking hell. I'm turnin
g into a sex fiend with a butt fetish.

  “This elevator is one people don't use much, so you should be safe to get to your room before someone sees you.”

  “Great.”

  Ariel led the way and pressed the button for them to access the elevator. A ding resounded in the hallway, and the shiny metal door slid open. Luckily, there was no one inside.

  The door slid shut just after they stepped inside, the elevator coming to life.

  Erin watched Ariel from the corner of her eye and wondered what it would be like to devour her lips. What would they taste like? Sugar? Peppermint? Cherry?

  She looked up to see a smirk on Ariel's model-perfect face as if she knew what naughty thoughts were going on behind her hopefully innocent expression. They reached the floor, and the door opened up. Erin stepped out and Ariel followed.

  “Would you like a drink or something? I appreciate you walking up with me. I know you're busy.”

  “Sure.”

  Erin led the way down the hallway and stopped in front of her room. She inserted the key card into the slot and the door opened. Empty. Thank goodness her roommates were still partying.

  “Come on in. Let me grab something for you.”

  “Just water, honestly. If I don’t finish the displays tonight, my boss is going to kill me.”

  “Oh. Sure.” Erin shut the door and went to the bar. She grabbed a bottle of water from the counter.

  “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.”

  Their fingers brushed as Erin handed Ariel the bottle. A wave of desire hit Erin, and she sucked in a gulp of air. Her pussy clenched. She wanted to know what it was like to kiss this woman.

  She wanted to take control. With Dylan, he'd always initiated things. Now she wanted to reach out and be the first to seek out what she needed. Going off to school was the bravest thing she'd ever done, and now she was about to do the second-bravest.

  Never had she felt the wave of desire for another person the way she experienced it now. It was more than just physical attraction. She liked Ariel. Her snark, the way she could bring Erin out of herself. Everything.